You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He is an equal opportunity slut.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
