Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
