That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
