The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
