please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
