it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
