I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
