Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
