My first STD was from a foam party
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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