could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
