That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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