if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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