Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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