it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
