I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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