i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
