I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
