You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
