he thought i was a dude.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
