I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
