Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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