I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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