i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.