Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"