absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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