She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
