My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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