the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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