I hate all girls vehemently.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
