Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
