Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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