Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize