so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
