She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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