is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
