Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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