Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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