ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
he laminated a picture of his dick.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.