I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
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No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.