I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
