Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
