I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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