Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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