i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
