Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
