just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Randomize