In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
