I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
