We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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