Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
