Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
