Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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