I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
