also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
