Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
