butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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