I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
