that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
