worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
