Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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