i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
