go do what you do best...puke behind churches
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Oh god it's open bar.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
