Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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