i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
FUCK WHALES
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
