Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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