if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Someone shattered a urinal.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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