Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We need to rekindle our bromance
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
