Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
