I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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