Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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