best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
