i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
