And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
