The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
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If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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