I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
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Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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