We're like a lot better than the average bears
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
